Sands drabble
by Nuky
Summary: Some poems I came up with after toying with my photo programma. Not very long but pretty dark. No big suprize, I mean where talking about Sands here.
1. Sands drabble

**This are some small drabbles about Sands. It's not very much, but that's because I first edited some OUATIM/Sands pictures with my photo program, after that I came up with these small poems. My fist English poems, so beware…**

**And maybe a smart note/warning: It's dark, especially the last poem. Just so you know it. **

**_The man with a thousand faces,_**

He was the one,

The one impossible to catch,

So slippery as a eel,

So dirty as a rat,

He turned hundreds living into dead,

Making his conscience turn black,

So colourful as a chameleon,

So deadly as a scorpion,

He played with people,

Walking his beat,

Until once upon a time,

He dropped his guard and let someone in,

She was as beautiful as deadly,

She was his downfall,

And the one with a thousand faces,

Turned black, into the one that couldn't see.

**That wasn't so bad, was it? Here is the next one: **

_**The man that couldn't cry,**_

There he stood,

The man that fell of his faith,

Still standing, full of hate,

At the end of the battle he looked up to the sky,

And prayed to god,

Please, let me cry…

**OWH! You're still here! GOOD! Next one: **

_**Stay in control,**_

It's always about the power,

You can do anything if you have it,

It's always about the money,

You can run anywhere if you want to,

It's always about staying smooth,

You can make people do everything you want,

It's always about love,

You can always ditch the tricky bitch,

But whatever you do, stay in control,

Of your own mind.

**Yeah, you're right not the best one that last, but I'm still learning. Here is the last one, the darkthingy:**

_**Hatred,**_

Once upon a time I thought I was in control,

Once I thought I got every emotion murdered,

In the depth of my dark soul,

I walked through my life without any fear,

Knowing that I had nothing to lose because there was nothing left,

That part was so fucking clear,

I was numb within,

Battling old fights, opening old scares, trying to hide the dark hole,

On the place my heart once had been,

One day I walked through the fog inside my head,

Then there she was the angel in black, lighting my world,

She looked up and smiled, at me, tearing all my fears into shred,

She cured my world with here sparkling eyes,

She taught me how to kill the fears so I would heal,

How could I ever know it where all lies,

She betrayed me, the only person I ever let in,

There I stood surrounded by pain,

I knew she was the one, pressing the gun against my chin,

And I would never see again,

Never heal again,

Never believe again,

Never feel again,

Never live again,

Without being filled with hatred,

**Not bad I think for my first attempt to writhe a poem in English. To bad I can't post the photo's on the site, they came out pretty fine. **

**I hope you like the poems, please let behind a review, I really want to know what you think of it. **

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow **


	2. Sands of time

**OWH! I wroth another one! Again very dark, I'm very weird but I luv the dark stuff: **

**_Sands of time,_**

Time can erase every wound,

Time will make all the pain go away,

Time can let you forget all you're hate,

Time will changes you're heart,

But what if time is everything you have left,

Hearing the minutes tick by,

Feeling the hours sink into day's,

Knowing you're bound to stay around for still so many years,

What if you whished you're time was over in this cruel words,

Praying you could leave,

Just to stop the time,

So you don't have to be here,

Cages in a small dark room without any hope,

With no one to hear you're calls for help,

With no one to comfort you,

With no one to make you're fears disappear,

With no one to touch you so you remember you're still alive,

So the only thing to do is just stop the time,

Right?

**TADA! I really like this one. I mean I can understand it if you're alone and blind. You're betray by the one you though you could trust and now you're nothing… Well I don't think Sands is nothing, caus he's still hot and very ant-hero and I luv anti-hero's!… **

**Anyway, thanks for reading again, I'm trying to make a site so you can see the pictures I made with them.**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	3. Two more

**I really love this poetiting/photo editing. I'm still trying to update it somehow, but I'm not very smart with websites:S **

**Anyway thanks for the wonderful reviews! I luv ya guys!**

**Warning: It's dark, deal with it. And it's not betad yet. **

**Disclaim: Well the poems are all wroth by me. But based on Sands thoughts and feelings. That sounds just so lame… **

_**Knowing is good enough, **_

I can't see you anymore,

But I know you're there,

I can't see that sadistic smile on you're once so angelic face,

But I know that it's there,

I can't see that dark grimace on you're face when I shot you,

But I know it's there,

I can't see you're dying on the middle of this dusty street,

But I know you're dying, slowly in agony,

Do I see anything I like,

No,

But sometimes knowing is good enough,

**The photo I made with this on really looks good. It's a black/white pic. Nice to know isn't it? The poem is a little bit short, sorry for that. And maybe smart to know, I wroth this poem about my fanfiction, Livin' La Vida Loca, so if ya wanna know who the bad evil man is, you just have to read and find out...**

_**Alone in the dark,**_

I'm alone in the dark,

Like always,

But something haze changed,

This time I can't find my way back to the light,

Now I'm here lost for real,

Praying the bad evil man can't find his way back,

And the voice won't stop,

Just wait 'till I find my gun, then they'll all stop.

**That was it again, hope you don't think I'm very depressed ore anything, I'm not, I swear. I just like the dark stuff:P**

**See ya next time, please review**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	4. Look me in the eyes

**WHO! DUDE! So much thanks for all the fucking lovely reviews:D:D:D:D!**

**I'm so HAPPY! So I wroth another dark and depression poem:P I'm very curios what I will writh when I'm very depressed…**

**OWH! And I putted my pictures/poems online: ****http/groups. please mail/tell whatever me what you think of the pictures! The link is in my acountend/profile**

**Now here is the poem: **

**_Look me in the eyes,_**

I did everything for you,

Murdered crying women,

Tortured screaming man,

Killed my own grieve,

And I did it without any hesitate,

Didn't care about the pain,

Didn't care about the fear,

Didn't care about the hurt,

I gave you everything I had,

Everything I owned,

Everything I stool,

Everything I took and so much more,

And I thought you truly loved me,

Truly saw me,

Truly cared about me,

Truly believed in me,

I found out the truth about you to late,

You betrayed me,

You mutilated me,

You made my world a dark place,

Look me in the eyes,

And know you already killed me.


	5. I've lost

_**I dunno if this one can count as a poem, caus It doesn't rhyme ore anything. But I thought what the heck let's post it, why not right?**_

_**I also am not sure where it's about. I guess it's a bit about my fiction, about Sands/ Lizz… Ore maybe his mom I dunno, maybe it's about some girlfriend ( ore boyfriend you never know) he loved. Anyway read it and give you're opinion, ore maybe you have any idea where it's about: **_

_**I've lost, **_

I'm trying to be a better man,

But it just so hard,

I'm still trying,

But…

Never mind,

You wouldn't understand it,

You've been razed with love,

All I got was hate,

I lever learned to care,

No one was to show me,

I thought you might…

No,

You shouldn't,

I'm not worth the tries,

All you would get would be my lies,

I can't love,

I only can hate,

Because that's all everyone haze given,

Hate,

It stings you know,

Once I thought I could live in a world with hate,

Then I met you,

You changes my world,

It scared me first,

I wanted to make you go away,

But you didn't,

Even when I hurt you,

You showed me some kind of love,

Don't know if it was that,

Love,

Because I never understood it,

But I think it was,

And I liked it,

And I'm back in the world filled with hate,

Without you,

You're gone for real this time,

Nothing can bring you back to me,

And the fucked up part is,

I made you leave,

I didn't protect you,

Like I should have,

I'm back where I started,

Alone, in the dark and afraid,

Wishing you would come back,

Knowing you can't,

I won't be able to feel you're love again,

To touch you,

Smell you,

Listen to you,

Being cured from my demons,

God, why can't I make you come back,

It hurts you fucking much,

It's coming back,

And it will hunt me down,

But I don't care,

Because I deserve it,

For losing you,

_**Right…. So already a clue where it's about? **_

_**Nuuh, me neither, but I like writhing it, hope you liked reading it**_

_**Say ya next time and don't forget to view the pictures**_

_**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**_


	6. Slowly I’ll disappear

_**Hey, Moi again! I'm really into the poems today! So without any other crape: **_

_**Slowly I'll disappear,**_

Can you see me?

Cause I can't anymore,

Because I can't see,

Did the world change?

Since the last time I saw the light?

Because I can't remember much, does that sounds strange?

Am I still here?

The colours ,the images,

Everything just seemed to disappear,

Where do they stay?

Where do they go?

And why do I get the feeling I'm fading away?

Could I be?

There is no one to tell me,

And I can't know, because I can't see,

But where will I go?

I won't go to heaven,

That, I just know,

Where am I?

Why is there no one to tell?

Will there be someone to say the last goodbye?

And why doesn't anyone answer my calls?

Why am I here?

And why am I trapped between these four pillow walls?

When will there be some one to tell me?

To make me understand,

I need that some one, that can see,

But deep inside,

I know that person won't come,

Still that part I try to hide,

Cause I want to be in the world that's real,

I wan to touch, if I can't see,

But I need someone to be my eye's until I heal,

Hello, is someone there?

I don't care who you are,

Just, please, let me know someone is here.

Because I'm disappearing,

_**Well, three times guessing where Sands ended up. This is my longest poems since! ( Since three day's, but let's not kill the moment…) **_

_**Please review, else I'll send Sands after you! With ore without his eye's! ( I'm getting a lill sadistic here, I'll better stop typing)**_

_**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**_


	7. Remember me

**YEAH! I can't stop writhing! I'm just so LUVV to do it! YAY! **

**Here is next one, this time it's not very depressing, more about hate, a also very nice thing:P : **

_**Remember me,**_

Remember me?

You're turned me in the one that can't see,

You heard me cry in horrifying pain,

You made me even more insane,

Remember me?

You turned me in the man that can't see,

You only made one wrong move,

You thought I was weak, but I'll give you different prove,

Remember me?

You turned me in the one can that can't see,

I'll show you I'm still standing,

I'll show you this is far from my ending,

Remember me?

You turned me in the one that can't see,

I'm stile here,

I'm blinded but without fear,

Remember me?

You turned me in the one that can't see,

This time you will be hunted, you all will be the preys ,

This time I'll make a end on you're colourful day's,

Remember me?

You turned me in the one that can't see,

Fighting until my dignity returns,

Fighting until everything you worked for burns,

Remember me?

You turned me in the one that can't see,

And when I find you, I'll return the favour.

**Sands and revenges, that's a very deadly mix. Remember that kiddies, don't mock the blind guy!**

**Thanks 4 reading,**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	8. Why we hate

**It's a lill about my fiction, but readable for the not-readers. This time it's a Sands/El ( not slash, just… hate.) **

**BTW: Looking for a beta! **

**Hope ya like it: **

_**Why we hate,**_

In the bar I saw you first,

So full of vegans ready to burst,

And that El, my dear friend I picked you,

Cause you're so poisoned by you're hate,

So drifted to get you're mind straight,

They told me you were 'The' man,

You murdered a army of Cartel,

You made there life a living hell,

Pretty pathetic, you did it only for them,

For that kid and you're lill' wife,

For them you gave away you're whole life,

I could see that in you're eye's,

You looked so fucking cold as ice,

But I knew it where just a disguise,

That's why you hate me don't ya?

Cause I could see you're pain,

Me, the killer, the rat, the insane,

But dear friend,

You didn't knew about my lost,

About my pain, about my cost,

I'm not talking about any silly wife,

But about me, only me,

About my childhood life,

So don't judge me El, my friend,

Cause you don't know me,

Good think, you'll never know, let it be,

And that's why we hate each other,

Cause where both the same, we lost our faith,

We don't believe in people anymore,

We just hate,

**TADA! That was it again. I think it came out okay. Hope this is a little how El/Sands think about the world and all. **

**Please leave behind some feedback for me!**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	9. People of America

**I think it's smart to say this BEFORE I get all kinds of horrible flames. It aint 'bout Sands, not even a fic ore a fanfic. It's a rap well… poem I guess, but don't issue bout that please. I made it when listening to Rage Against The Machines. Don't hate me after reading, I don't want to piss of people, well maybe a few but I'm sure they don't even know this site. Anyway if you don't like it stop reading, here it goes: **

_**People of America,**_

We all want the American dream,

Having a large house, marrying a Ken a Barbie and have a Chelly,

While in Detroit is a teen-mom hiding in a ally,

Lill' kiddy's are crying cause there AIDS-positive mom is dieing in agony,

Meantime the whole country is shocked,

Bratt and Jen are breaking up, god what a catastrophe!

People of America unite!

Kick down the TV of delusion and fight!

Humans are humans, so equal,

So why do some hate the negro's, the outcast, the women's ore the homosexual?

People of America unite!

Stop eating that deadly junk food and fight!

And what's about the CI-fucking-A?

Did ya see what they're STILL doing in Abu Graib, what are they?

And that people are protecting this land every day!

People of America unite!

Quit listening to Christina-slutty-Aguilera, and fight!

Got a lill' question again,

Why are we losing fortunes by product called light and dieting?

While half of the world is fucking starving?

People of America unite!

Ditch bitch Paris and fight!

Still not done with the question round,

Here is one again, how terrorists are made,

Dunno, maybe bomb down there family, could that make them full of hate?

People of America unite!

Stop buying mister fuckmook Bush his bull and fight!

Since I mentioned the fuckmook already,

Did ya know he already knew the dyke in New Orleans wasn't that steady?

People of America unite!

Go out there and fight!

For your own believes,

For the sake of you're kids,

For the right,

For the good,

People of America unite,

Arm yourself with believe and fight!

Against the lies,

Against the bad,

Against the hurt,

Against the cries,

People of America unite!

Don't hate each other, hate the system and fight!

**Are there still people with me? You are! GOOD! Dunno if it was any good, but you can never know. Again don't hate poor lill' me.**

**Leave a message after the BEEB,**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow, **


	10. ‘The’ Legend

**I found out I hadn't a el POV poem. It's not my best, but it'll do**

'_**The' Legend.**_

Once upon a time I was a good man,

I loved my country,

Honoured my faith,

Fought for my beloved,

But like every Legend it has a twist,

I thought I killed the man,

Fighting I tried to safe you,

I was to late,

The beast had murdered you both,

Ever since I'm trying to stay a good man,

But I'm starting to get bitter,

I'm starting to hate this country,

I'm losing my faith,

I cry for my beloved,

Once upon a time I wished to be left alone,

So I wouldn't have to deal with my lost,

With this pain,

With this grief,

With this hate,

But again my story wasn't ended,

I got the change to take my revenge,

I restore the balance with my own hands,

Now I'm a hero,

A legend,

As in 'The',

**Yeah, the end is a little cliché, but I just love that quote: As in 'The'. I know what it means, thank you… Than again I LUV SANDS, but ya knew that already :P **


	11. I’ve seen everything,

**I wanted to make a dark poem again. It's a Sands poemPOV again, caus he and dark… that's just a perfect match: **

_**I've seen everything,**_

I've seen everything,

I saw the crimson liquid so many times,

I saw the fear in the eye's before I pulled the trigger.

I saw crying women, for the deaths I created,

I saw dying kids on the street,

I've seen everything,

Nothing shocked me,

Not even torture,

Not even rape,

Not even murder,

I've seen everything,

So I didn't even care anymore,

Got numb for the images,

Got cold for the world,

Got uncaring about anything,

I've seen everything,

God must have thought the same thing,

Faith's a funny thing,

'Cause I was blind for one little thing,

Called Anjedrez,

I've seen everything,

I saw her wicked smile,

I saw her daddy the mummyboy,

I saw a fucking dentist,

I saw a drill,

And the last thing I saw,

Was crimson liquid,

I've saw everything,

Took it for granted,

Got spoiled by it,

Once even wished I would stop looking,

Now I'm blind,

Mutilated by love,

Only able to, smell, hear, touch and feel,

God must hate me,

'Caus I'm in hell,

**Poor guy, he's really hurt… Awww… that's so sad… (smacks herself: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!)**

**Hope you liked it, please DO REVIEW!**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	12. My escape

**Listening to Linkin Park right now, and some small, dark thing popped up in my mind. **

**Small little detail about the poem. It's about a younger Sands, in his teenage years… I think… OWH! WARNING! VERY IMPORTANT. It's about self mutilation, lill grapic here and there. So if yer still an innocent kiddy, then what the HELL are you doing here! **

_**My escape,**_

Everything hurts,

Always,

I can't make it stop,

Never,

Seeing the dark days pas,

Helpless,

I know it won't get better,

Never,

Every day is just about surviving,

Loneliness,

I feel nothing more than pain,

Never,

Feeling the coldness take over,

Numbness,

I won't be able to fight me out of this,

Never,

Every morning I taste the grief in my mouth,

Bitterness,

I know it won't stop,

Never,

Smelling my own sorrows,

Emptiness,

I feel so god damn lost without any hope,

Never,

Every time I fail,

Losing,

I can't get the control back,

Never,

Seeing my pain drip out of me,

Healing,

I feel relieved knowing I can still feel,

Never,

Every night I walk up to the bathroom,

Carrying,

I touch the smooth metal to feel reality again,

Never,

Every time I tell myself this will be the last time,

Lying,

I can see the red words creation on my wrist:

_Never again!_

**Told ya it wouldn't be nice… **

**I'm a little nervous about this one. Sure in the poem before I mentioned some ugly stuff but this is a little bit drastic.**

**So I reallyyyyyyyyyyy wanna know what ya think of this one!**

**Review, please, cookies, sugar and a cherry on top!**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	13. Burn baby burn

**Again listening to Linkin Park, there just so fucking good!**

**Let's see what words will fill the paper this time, not sure it's about Sands, think if it is, it's again about his yought.**

**OWh and it's not betaed, cause I have to work in about a hour and I wanna update, so don't kill me please: **

_**Burn baby burn,**_

Everything must be destroyed,

Burn baby burn,

Burn just for me,

Burn like you never did before,

This way everything will stop,

Fucking die motherfucker,

You thought you where better than me,

Well, this time you will burn,

Burn in hell, fuckmook!

I'll trash this place,

Kill everything I've lived in,

Burn baby burn,

Get this roof one fire,

Get this place in flames,

Everything is ganna be okay,

I promise you, baby,

Just burn right now,

Burn baby burn,

Lay this place in aches,

We'll run and set fire,

To everything that comes on our path,

And tries to hurt us,

Burn baby burn,

Until everything is on fire,

I love the flames,

Rose red, sunshine yellow,

Luv it all, just as much as I love you,

So baby, please burn,

And light my world,

Whistling I drain the house with gasoline,

That all I need,

No cocaine, no luck, no faith, no love,

Just flames and gasoline,

That's my desire, FIRE!

It's peaceful in my head,

That's because I'm holding you,

My precious, my love, my gift from god,

Burn my love, burn,

Staring at my house, I lighten you,

Burn baby, please burn,

A trail of flames runs up to the house,

I smiled close my eye's and feel completed again,

When I look at you the house is shining,

You're flames trying to catch the moon,

You're burning just for me,

A tear rolls down my cheek,

The air is filled with screams,

There burning there lies,

Burning there dreams,

All of my pain,

Is gone for a wiled,

Please baby, stay burning for me,

**How wonderful, this time I turned him into a pyromaniac… At first I thought is was going to be about only trashing the house… but this is cool I think, lill bit more drastic…**

**REVIEUWWW! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! ( again, lill drastic)**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	14. To far to get saved

**This is a very short poem, again thanks to Likin Park for making there music Worship them! **

**To far to get saved,**

Taking is everything I do,

I take, steel never giving back,

Hating is one of my best abilities,

I have so much hatred in my it's tearing me apart,

Hurting is my biggest joy,

I hurt people and I love it,

Insanity is my way of life,

I embrace it,

Blinded with greed I live my life,

I stopped seeing,

Livin' La Vida Loca,

Nothing can bring me back,

**She's in to superstitious black cat's and voodoo- Owh… never mind, that song is just so fucking staying in you're head! **

**It's a very short poem, but try to live with it :P Made in five minutes and now I have to go to work… The biggest writhersblock-maker of the world….**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	15. My secret

Right now I'm listening to Evanescence, sorry still can't type the name without some mistake in it. Anyway, let's see where the music will bring me:P

**My secret,**

First he was just a thing,

Just a annoying assignment,

Just a flowed order,

Daddy always told me to watch my back,

Take cover when I'm in danger,

Take a gun better than a helping hand,

So I did, I stayed on the back ground,

Not to say to much,

Not to look scared,

Because I was,

I was scared of him,

I was terrified when I found out I was liking him,

He never treated me like dirt,

Like other guy use to do,

Like I was something more than just his whore,

I started to hate myself for it,

He was starting to become more than just a thing,

He was getting more and more trust out of me,

That was the line for me,

Girls like me don't trust others than her own society

Girls like me, don't usually trust at all,

So why was he any different,

Why did he tried to make me feel good,

Why did he tried to make it work,

And that was the final line,

He trusted me,

He told me his plan, to get us both out of this misery,

It was so hard,

I didn't want to lose him, I wanted to go with him,

I couldn't betray my own family, that would be eternal hell,

But a choice I had to make,

And when I did I knew it was wrong,

And I first didn't care, ore at leased tried,

Then I saw his face,

Without his eye's,

Without any hope,

See anything you like,

I wanted to sound like a bitch,

I wanted to let him thing I didn't care,

No, he shot me down,

I didn't care,

I deserved it,

I killed the man I loved,

My secret,

And he returned me the favour.

**Yes, it's about Anjedrez the uber BITCH! I wanted to make a little less like a bitch. Very hard, since she's the bitch who betrayed Sands! The bitch! (okay who many times did I used the word bitch now?) **

**Again, please review, I made a pact with god, you go to heaven if you do!**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	16. I do not fear

**Okay, it's true my life is bound by writhing ,music ,Johnny Depp and chocolate… Owh well, I've learn to live with my opsessions. A little usless info about myself. I'm listening to Michelle Branch and I dissident this poem is from Lizz POV, yeah that girl from my fic Livin' La Vida Loca. So some people won't get what's happening, cause the thought are small flashbacks from my fic. Here we go again:**

_**I do not fear,**_

Once I was scared being around him,

I remember the first thing what he did to me when he woke up,

He almost strangled me with one arm,

Still I saw a sad little wounded pup,

Once he threatened me with horrible deaths,

I remember how scared I was when he pointed the gun at my forehead,

He almost broke my arm when I hit him,

Still I found him pretty sad,

Once I thought he was only using me to get into a bar,

I remember how wrong I was,

He almost broke that perverted guys jaw

Still I found it hard to believe he was as good as I thought I saw,

Once he told me everything about his past,

I remember the shock and how scared I got,

He almost lost the sanity he had left that night,

Still I had hope for him, even when he showed me his insane side,

Once I was sure he was going to murder me,

I remember how he pushed me up against the wall,

He almost made me cry,

Still I stayed his ally,

Once he was a first class ass,

I remember how he ground me on the sofa, I didn't even commit a crime,

He almost ruined the whole movie that day,

Still I like him being around, it didn't matter it was only to kill time,

Once I thought he would betrayed me and deliver me at my step dad,

I remember the look on his face,

He almost panicked, it was me ore a well paid job he had to chose,

Still he killed the bad guy and this time it was the voice that lose,

Once he drove me to the edge,

I remember all of his snappy comebacks, perverted lines and his annoying questions,

He almost made me furious, he can be so naggy about littlest things,

Still I could talk with him about our past, it's like he's taking me under his wings,

And now I'm here,

Somewhere in drop-dead Mexico,

With nowhere to stay

With nowhere to go,

But right now, I don't care, I do not fear,

Because my fallen angel is right here,

**I have to say, some lines are a bit lame, but it was a hard poem to write, since every line starts the same way again and the word have to rhyme. **

**Still I'm proud of the results. It's pretty much everything Lizz thinks of Sands, or at leased I hope. **

**Again, leave a review behind, please, please, please, please with sugar on top. **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	17. The sun will come

**This poem is a little deep and bladiebla. But I like it. **

**A award to _Rammstein_, making the song: _Sonne, _that's the song that made this poem.**

_**The sun will come,**_

My mind is to foggy,

My pain is to clear,

My day's only seem to exist with rain,

Drowning me,

Muddy road come up my path,

And I have no place to shelter,

The nights are cold as ice,

Slowly my veins freeze,

The mornings are filled with hatred,

Burning life out of me,

I look in the mirror staring at a person I don't know,

Since when did my eye's went so cold,

I understand,

My light went out,

And without a inner light to burn,

There is no life to live,

That's why I'm waiting for the sun,

To rise and burn the pain,

My hope is as a broken flower,

Waiting,

For the sun,

So it can grow again,

**Told ya it would be a lill blabiebla? Still I like it myself. **

**Again please tell what you think of it, that means the world to me!**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	18. Misery

**This is a Sands POV. About why he kills and why he won't stop. Dark stuff ahead. **

**_Misery,_**

The house I lived in for eighteen years was nothing to call home,

Misery haunted me and I was always alone,

Packed with hate and guild I drove away,

With only nothing to go to,

Never a shoulder to cry on and never tiers to cry over me,

Insanity is more than just a word to me, it's my life,

There doesn't go a day by without thinking what I have done,

But it's all to late for that there is no way out,

Not even dead,

Dead with only lead to hell,

But since I see only black I don't know what's worse,

Maybe my whole life is a created hell itself,

What can there be worse then no childhood at all,

Ore the guild for killing you're mom, you're dad and in a way yourself,

And what is this sick world I'm living in,

There are no others to trust, only yourself and the burning desire to leave,

That's all I want, to just leave and not have to look back all the time,

Because always and everywhere I feel it, guild.

Why do I feel it, there is nothing I can do about it,

It's over I can't take it back,

I've killed,

Killed people,

Killed man,

Killed innocent,

Lives are killed because of what I did,

Sorry isn't even close for what I feel,

But I won't stop I'm waiting for the one,

The one that will hunt me,

And put me out of this misery,

**It's sad they way Sands… Wait my Sands, the Sands of my livin' la vida loco fiction…. Thinks. It's sad if you just want to end you're life so you don't have to feel grief. And that last line made me shiver. Poor guy, I feel so sorry for him.**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	19. Nightfall

**It's late, I'm tired this is what came out. Not beta, if it's to bad, stop reading and wait until the beta's arrived. **

_**Nightfall,**_

I'd loved to watch the sunset,

The sun falling slowly into the red mountains desperately trying to escape her end,

Yellow flames playing with the long shadow they create,

Everything is peaceful when the sun goose out,

I remember smiling holing my gun,

My relieve after watching the enemies die,

Waiting for the ease of the hard cruel day,

The night falls as I watch the sun say her goodbye,

City's light up and the moon rises,

Yellow taxis drive by getting loaded with people who want to go home,

Everything seems to fall asleep,

I remember sitting in the window-seat,

My head resting against the cold stone wall,

Waiting for the morning, glaring at the moon to make her downfall,

I'd loved the sunrise, it's even better then the set,

It's because a new day is born,

Hope from last day restore,

Nightmares forgotten,

I remember driving away from the mess,

My balance restored and my head clear,

Waiting for the sunlight to touch my cheek,

Now I only remember,

Never will I see the sun again,

Never again will I see the light,

All I have left are memories,

And the cold night.

**Things started to get a bit foggy if you are about to fall asleep. If the poem is to bad, sorry bout that then. **

**Please review!**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	20. The little boy

**A bit info about this poem. If you haven't read Livin' la vida loca it might be a little, WHAT THE FUCK! **

**_The little boy,_**

In the dungeon of my heart it lays,  
Burning, consuming and it cries,

A part of me hates it and will fight,  
Until it stops,

Once I didn't know what it was,  
That one thing that lies deep beneath the surface,

Until the moment of confessions,  
The thing that keeps me awake every night,  
The thing that makes me weak,  
The thing that's eating me,

It is the little boy,  
The little boy once was me,  
He's still scared and afraid,  
He's still hiding for the bad evil man,  
He's still crying for his mom,  
Waiting for his childhood to return,

I tell him to shut up,  
None of that will happen,  
Nothing will return,  
I put an end to it,

Little sheriff Sheldon is in tears,  
He hates what we've become,  
Little sheriff Sheldon is alone,  
I'd left him there,  
Locked in the dungeons of my heart,

Like me the little boy will never see the light,  
Ever again,

**In this poem Sands tries to shut his past out. ( again LLVL) and that's not working out much… The little boy in his heart pictures Sands, not only form his past but also a bit now. He's still that little boy and he'll never see the light again. Not just because he's blind but because his past won't leave him alone. And he keeps remembering. **

**I'll shut up, **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	21. Son of Mexico

**Made for Sands-Agent. Thanks for reviewing and betaing last chap! It's a El POV poem. **

**Warning: Sorry again, it's not betad, I wanted to put it online as fast as I could. **

**_Son of Mexico, _**

Mountains high enough to touch heaven,

At dawn the flowers blush with dew,

Cities filled with music and life,

At night the starts sparkle so bright they must be diamonds,

This is my country,

I've born in it,

And I will die in it,

This is world,

My love I found in her,

Carolina, my Carolina,

Mexico gave her to me,

To bad she needed her angel back,

I don't blame her for that,

This is my country,

I protect it,

And I kill for it,

This is my world,

My music, I own to her,

Her beauty keeps me writhing,

Mexico gave that to me,

I always thank her for that,

This is my country,

If someone tries to hurt her,

I will stop them,

Because this is my world,

Armed with a gun and my guitar,

I walk a lonely road,

But in a way I'm never alone,

Because memories and Mexico are both near,

This is my country,

I love it more then anything,

And it loves me back,

I am her child,

I am the son of Mexico.

**Jeez, mister ego-trip. No, kidding, El Is the son of Mexico. He's so cool! El Mariachi as in 'The' is cool. He's like world greatest (anti-)hero. Only Sands is more fun… Okay starting to talk crazy again, bye:P**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	22. Tonight

**Warning: child abuse, not very shocking but I have to say it before I'll get kicked of ffnet. That will be the end of my life. And it's again about my Sands. **

**_Tonight, _**

A little boy cries tonight,

He's alone,

All alone in the dark and cold,

He doesn't understand,

To young to know why mommy won't return,

To innocent to understand why daddy is hurting him,

A little boy prays tonight,

Please, let me be good,

Let me do the dishes without breaking,

Let me be quite without pain,

Please let daddy stop drinking,

Please, god, please,

A little boy screams tonight,

He's in pain,

Please daddy not the belt,

I'm sorry,

I'll be good,

But he's not convincing enough,

A little boy almost drown tonight,

He wished he did,

Then he would go to mommy,

The pain and fear would stop,

But his wish stays unfulfilled,

He's still in the land of the bad evil man,

A little boy,

Will die tonight,

No one is to notice,

No one is to care,

He will be replaced,

For a killer,

Because no one was there,

**This is a little call for child abuse. Many people see and hear it but are to fucked op ore chicken to go to the police. May that bastards get hunted by Sands! Further info, just so you know my English doesn't suck that much… that and I luv to sounds smart. The little boy doesn't die. Only mental. He grows up at once and will be a killer. **


	23. I can’t see

**It's not one of my best poems. But I made it in stress because the exame week is very close. And writhing keeps the stress outside. **

**_I can't see,_**

Kids passing me by,

I hear them walk,

I hear them talk,

About the man that cries crimson red,

I feel the stares,

I feel the sorry,

I'm blind,

I can't see,

But that doesn't mean I can't feel,

Tourist crossing my path,

I hear them walk,

I hear them talk,

About me,

About the fact that I can't see,

I'm blind,

I can't see,

But that doesn't mean the pain isn't real,

Time ticking by,

I feel the sun burn me loca,

I taste my own blood,

I smell the deaths surrounding me,

I touch my own face, but stop,

I know what lays near,

I'm blind,

I can't see,

But that doesn't mean I don't know,

The monster,

That is me.

**Sands can be so poetic if he wants to. Sight… he's just to perfect and sweet and nice. **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. And don't forget to leave a message!**


	24. A secret

**Okay I made a poem. You get a box full of cookies if you can guess where it's about: **

_**A secret,**_

I have a secret,

A secret nobody knows,

I have a secret,

A secret that grows,

My mouth is shut,

My eye's are closed,

Because I have a secret,

Nobody knows,

I can't tell,

I can't scream, cry ore yell,

Because I have a secret,

I will die for if I tell,

It makes me feel lonely,

Because I don't dare to speak,

I have a secret,

A secret that makes me feel weak,

I starting to hate myself,

Shut down are my eye's and my cheeks are red,

Because I'm scared someone will know,

And that will make him so mad,

I can't help it to feel bad,

I tell so many lies so many story's,

To keep the secret,

It's making me so sad,

It's very hard not to tell,

Because I want to,

I want them to know, I want them to see,

But at the end I let it always be,

I have a secret,

A secret bad as hell,

Will you be the one,

To believe me,

If I tell?

**So what do you think? Where is it about? Who wants to tell you the secret? C'mon think good and you will get reworded with a cookie **


	25. World behind the window

_**World behind the window,**_

A broken child looks down on the street,

His cheeks are wet,

His eye's full of defeat,

Questions fill his mind,

Where did mommy go?

Why does daddy hurt me so?

Questions keep filling his head,

Why does Santa never come?

Why is god deaf for my prayers?

And why, even when he beats me do I keep filing numb?

The broken child closes the curtains, as he closes his childhood,

He knows his questions will stay unanswered,

He hates it, like the bad evil man sad,

Questions do non-one any good,

Slowly trying not to make a sound he walks back,

Back to his bed,

Back to his world of pain,

Back to his world wrapped in black,

People on the street sometimes look up,

They see a dirty window with a staring child inside,

Then never see the real child,

The child the window hides,

The child with nothing at all,

The child that cries,

**Lill info: The window doesn't only mean window, but also eye's. You can't see people behind there eye's, there thought, there world, there pain. But sometimes you can, if people trust you well enough they open there windows to you. ( Today I'm very into philosophized, if that's the right word in English. **

**And for I forget. Last poem was about child abuse, about the POV of a child. ( Yeah Sands…) Kids that get beaten or worse can't talk about it. They want to, but they can't because of the consequences. So they keep it a secret. **

**Well mail me what you think of this poem, like always I'm very interested what other people think of the stuff I writhe down. **


	26. Is it to late,

**Yeah, bit strange poem thingy this will be. I guess it's some kind of song… something… well don't ask to much questions, I don't know what it is really. OWh and this is Sands POV after chapter 34, just for information.**

_**Is it to late, **_

She left,  
Me,  
She left me alone,  
Just a quick goodbye,  
Then she left,  
And she won't come back,  
Because I let her go,

_She is gone,  
__Walked away,  
__Packed her stuff,  
__And left,  
__Is it to late?_

I was too weak,  
Too weak to say,  
It was just one freaking word, love,  
I did I really think,  
But I'm not sure,  
Because love has never crossed my path before,

_She is gone,  
__Walked away,  
__Packed her stuff,  
__And left,  
__Is it to late?_

The world is a funny thing,  
Bit like humans,  
We're never happy with what we have,  
Until we lose it,  
Then it makes you mad,

_She is gone,  
__Walked away,  
__Packed her stuff,  
__And left,  
__Is it to late?_

I'm already mad,  
Crazy, insane, fucked up,  
You can't imagine what losing means to me,  
It's eating me every day of my life,  
I'm the ruler of losing,  
I lost much,  
So fucking much,

_She is gone,  
__Walked away,  
__Packed her stuff,  
__And left,  
__Is it to late?_

I'm sorry girly,  
I never wanted you to leave,  
I didn't want to scream,  
Or hurt, curse and shoot,  
It's just,  
Just the only think I've ever learned,  
I don't know how to ask for what I want,  
I just take,

_She is gone,  
__Walked away,  
__Packed her stuff,  
__And left,  
__Is it to late?_

So can you please come back?  
I won't scream at you,  
I won't hurt you,  
I won't threaten you,  
I'll be good,

_She is gone,  
__Walked away,  
__Packed her stuff,  
__And left,  
__Is it to late?_

Just turn around and I will show you I can be a good man,  
But I need you to help me,  
I can't do it on my own,  
I confess,  
I need help,  
Your help,

_She is gone,  
__Walked away,  
__Packed her stuff,  
__And left,  
__Is it to late?_

I want to hear you walk back,  
Open the door and call me shit,  
Yell at me for making you feel bad,  
Smack me in the face if you want to,  
Please come back,

_She is gone,  
__Walked away,  
__Packed her stuff,  
__And left,  
__Is it to late?_

Ore will she come back?

**So moi first songtekst thingy. What do you think?**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	27. Warning

**Some lame shit I made when I was mad on my parents. Bout, Sands dhu:P **

_**Warning, **_

It's living inside of me,  
Waiting for a moment I let my guard down,  
Slowing rising to the surface,  
Counting the seconds to strike,  
And take it over,

I always try to stay in control,  
Try not to let it escape,  
Because if it does,  
People will die,  
And I will destroy everything that comes on my path,

It's a part of me I love and hate,  
I can't explain it, I guess I just love others to suffer,  
It's not like I give a shit about the deaths,  
In fact I don't care at all,  
But the fact that something can control me,  
That something I can't stand,

That thing inside of me,  
Is fucking up my life,  
I can't handle it but I won't ask for help,  
There was never before a person that could,  
So why would I ask this time,

I can feel it getting close,  
It's hunting me,  
Slowly taking over,  
You've got to watch out when I'm pissed,  
That's went it gets inside my head,  
So don't mock me ore it will be the last thing you'll ever do.

**Really not my best work, but hey I'll get better. **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	28. Deaf for you’re outcry

**Deaf for you're outcry,**

You never fit in,  
Always get pick last with gym,  
No-one to talk to,  
You want someone to trust, but who?

You never get the feeling of belong,  
You want to be smart, brave and strong,  
But all you are is weak,  
To weak to speak,

Why is it so hard?  
All you have to do is to drop you're guard,  
But every time you open you're mouth to speak,  
You got slapped in the face and feel weak,

You never are good enough,  
Always do something wrong and break stuff,  
Why are you so weak?  
Why is it so hard for you to speak?

What can you do about this mess,  
What to do with the people that couldn't care less,  
What can you do about the pain  
What can you do about the voice that calls you insane,

You could run away,  
But you always come back on the end of the day,  
You could hide,  
But you know you can't, that hope already died,

There is no escape from this,  
You know you there won't be end out of this,  
You don't understand why he's doing this,  
There is nothing else than pain because of this,

You're the one that never fits in,  
You're the one that always get picket last with gym,  
You're the one no-one talks to,  
You're the one that wants to trust but who?

You think your weak,  
To weak to speak,

But you can't help it, if no-one wants to hear you.

**This is a bit about the schools outcast. The people who sit always alone with lunch, always get bully. If you are that kind of ass that does that to people, think fuckshit! There is more about a person than the outside. **


	29. Shattered reflection

**This is very dark. It's about Lizz, about what happened to her right before she run off to Mexico. It's not pretty and don't dare to flame. **

**Shattered reflection, **

The walls cry,  
The shadows turn away,  
Slowly she walks outside,  
With tears in her eye's, incapable to speak,

He'd crossed her line so many times,  
But this time he hit the edge,  
Her borderline is broken,  
Her fears send loos,

Walking unto the stairs she cries,  
Tears dripping down,  
Carrying the shame on her shoulders,  
Being scared for the truth,

Finally she closes her door,  
And opens her heart,  
She dropped down in her corner,  
Wishing for a escape,

She can't help, but cry,  
All the fear and pain has to come out,  
If not she will burst,  
And end it tonight,

She grabbed her small mirror,  
Looks in death eye's, not from a young girl,  
But from a mutilated grown up,  
She closes her eye's and smashed the mirror into pieces,

Looking throw the window at the shining moon,  
She ask for help,  
For someone to stand up for her,  
Knowing she needs that more than anything,

Slowly her eye's slid down her ripped dress,  
Reminding her at him,  
At what he almost succeeded,  
Her lip starts to tremble and she screams inside,

I'm ugly, I'm nothing,  
That's what she things,  
But she's unique and beautiful,  
Just to lost to see,

When morning comes  
And the sun breaks throw,  
She wakes up, determined,  
She knows what to do,

Running down the walls whisper,  
The shadows stare at her,  
She knocks on a door and walks in,  
Sobbing she tells everything,

But doesn't get believed,  
She's a lair, a thief,  
A ungrateful little slut,  
That has to get out and never come back,

Her mom didn't believe her,  
The door slams shut in front of her face,  
Her world shatters like her mirror,  
Into thousand pieces to broken to get fixt.

**So dark isn't it? Maybe a bit to dark, but I think it's a good reflection of Lizz. **

**Please say what you think, but stay nice, please.**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.**


	30. I do care, But I'm to weak to stay

**Three times guessing. Yeah… about Sands, his POV. Again his reflection on Lizz. How to deal with life and trust. **

**I do care,  
But I'm to weak to stay. **

I love you,  
I really do,  
That's why,  
I have to get away  
From you,

I hurt you,  
I'm sorry, I really do,  
That's why,  
I have to get away,  
From you,

I cry for you,  
Will even die for you,  
But I have to,  
Get away,  
From you,

I hate you,  
I really do,  
Because you dare to care,  
That's more then I deserve,  
From you,

I will go,  
Leave you,  
So I'm sure,  
I don't take anything more,  
From you.

**Lill' info: Sands want to run away. He never has learned how to trust and care is. Now that someone is there to show him he wants to run away. Because he thinks he's not worth it. Because he did so many things so bad. He doesn't think there is a second changes, so that includes that Lizz will leave him and hate him sooner ore later. Poor guy, not everyone is like that. **

**Review, leave you're opinion please,**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	31. I leave

**I kinda lost this poem. But thanks to annoying my comp to death I got it back. In Lizz POV about the day she left. **

**I leave, **

I leave behind a man I love,

After everything what happened to my I never thought I would say it,

But I do, I love him,

No, not in that way,

He's more like a dad, he protects me,

I also hate him,

Hate him for everything he did to me,

For everything he put me throw,

But I survived,

He said to me go to hell,

I've been there already,

Because of him I escaped it,

He made me see there are good man,

He stands up for me,

And makes me laugh,

And in his own way, he cares about me,

He doesn't need to say,

Sometimes silent is better,

I'm scared to walk away from him,

Knowing where I have to go,

And fearing what he will do,

To himself,

I leave behind the man I love,

After everything he been through he trusted me,

Believed me,

Now I let him down,

I hate myself,

For breaking my promise and his mind,

I hate what's going to happen to him,

Since I met him I know he's on the edge,

Of his sanity,

But if I can,

I will come back,

To show him not everyone is bad,

Just like he showed me,

That not all man are bad.


	32. Chasing the wind

**Chasing the wind, **

I feel the wind touch my skin,

Pushing me out,

Out of my black world,

Pushing me forward,

All I can do is obey,

Slowly I start to walk,

Feeling like I'm in a trance,

The wind whispers to me,

I run down the stairs,

Try not to listen to the curses,

And shut the door,

The sun shines down on me,

But all I feel is the wind,

Ordering me to obey,

So I do,

I start running,

And don't look back,

I run down my street,

Old long lived houses look down on me,

Wondering why a little boy is running,

At midnight,

Running like the devil is chasing him,

I glare at the houses,

With people inside,

That never care to listen,

To that little running boy,

That screams almost every night,

Right now I don't care,

About anything,

I only want to run,

Try to catch the wind,

And forget everything that hurts me,

The cold starts to get me,

Slowly turning my skin blue,

But still the wind calls to me,

Pushing me forward,

Dragging me further and further away from home,

Away from hurt,

Away from tears,

Away,

I like the wind,

She takes care of me,

Whispers to me when I am weak,

Maybe just maybe,

No…

I just hope the wind never dies,

Like she did.

**You'll get a cookie is you can guess about who it is and about who that person thinks. **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	33. Just a fucking agent

**DISCLAIM) I don't own this poem. I did not make it. It's been made by a femmate of my, Marjet. SO just so ya know, It's NOT MINE! **

_**Just A Fucking Agent**_

I don't want to be lonely  
I don't want to be sad  
But I don't want you to be here either  
When dark times lay ahead

What if time is all I've got  
What if no one would love me  
But that already happened  
There's nothing left for me to be

I am no god fearing person  
I am no nice guy  
I am just a fucking blind agent  
A agent that cannot cry

**Thanks for reading again, she's good isn't she? **

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**

**P.S) I'm a bit out of ideas. If you know a nice, DARK, dramatic subject, please mail. **


	34. Trapped in my own mind

**Trapped in my own mind,**

First it was only a word for me,  
Darkness,  
Now it's my whole world,  
Blindness,  
And every day I try to gain it,

It's hard to live in a world without sight,  
But I thought I could beat it,  
Because that's who I am,  
A killer,  
A fighter  
And in a way a freak,

I thought wrong,  
Amiss,  
Sure you can live you're life without sight,  
But,  
You can't live you're life alone,  
Cages,  
In yourself,

Slowly I'm fading,  
Turning in myself,  
Because I lost my gift to look at people,  
I never realised you needed that,  
To see,  
To touch,  
To be,

Never cared enough to think about that,  
Now I'm getting black,  
Numbness,  
My world starting to die,  
Agony,  
Soon I'll hear nothing more than just the voices,  
Confession,  
I'm slowly dying from my own insanity,

Never will I see again,  
Misery,  
Memories is all that's real,  
Emptiness,  
Slowly I realise,  
Loneliness,  
Is all I got left,


	35. Born to kil

**Born to kill,**

I've always been bad,

To the bone until the soul,

Why else would you get beat ever day?

You must be bad if you're not worth,

To get treat like a human being,

I've killed,

With no regret,

Why would you feel bad,

About something you've already done?

I can't take it back so guilt would be weak to feel,

I'm sick, sicker than sick,

I murder,

I'm insane because I like it,

Like to see others bleed,

Because this way I see I'm not the only one,

That hurts,

I destroy,

By killing my own feelings,

What are they worth if all you feel is pain,

Burning inside until you burst,

So I try to stay numb,

By hurting others more and more,

I'm born like this,

Sick in my head,

Bitter inside,

And dark on the outside,

I won't get better,

Until the day I stop.


	36. Goodby my love

Goodbye my love,

I'm drowning by you're pain,  
The grief in you're eye's,  
The hurt in you're voice,

Thing aren't what they where,  
We're never mend to be,  
Never to get,  
And become more,

Saying goodbye is hard,  
The hardest thing in the world,  
Knowing you have to go and never come back,  
Go one with you're life,

It kills me to know you will find someone else,  
It's tearing me apart,  
Because we belong together,  
In this fucked up world,

So I decided never to say goodbye,  
Never will I have to cry again,  
Ore say that painful word,  
Goodbye,

I shot you,  
Goodbye my love,  
You fell down,  
Goodbye meaningless word,  
Blood drained the floor,  
Goodbye,

Now you're gone,  
But with me forever,  
None will take you from me,  
None has to say that word,  
Goodbye.

**Not sure if it's about any of the caracters of OUATIM, maybe it's about Marquiz. Because Carolina left him for El. Anyway I just like the poem, hopefully you do to**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	37. Cruel man

**I gave him a resone to keep fighting, here it is.**

**Cruel man,**

I'm a cruel man,

Cold to the bones,

Eye's dark as the night,

I'm a cruel man,

I'm build to kill,

People hurting is what I do,

As I trained to do,

Watching every step I make,

I'm build to kill,

I take,

Everything I see,

Everything I like,

Everything I need,

I take anything,

Until I break,

I lost,

Everything,

I found,

Pain,

I kept,

Hatred,

But,

One saw to the cruel man,

And I found something worth to fight for,

To die for,

To murder for,

The cruel man received something small,

Called love.


	38. Tears

**Not a OUATIM poem, but I wanted to post it, enjoy:**

**Tears.**

Dark crimson tears starting to rain down,

Like the leafs do when it's getting cold,

And it is,

It's cold in me,

With blank eye's I look at the wall,

It's crying to,

Because of me,

Because of what I just did,

I ask myself what's wrong with me,

Why can't I be like everybody else,

I want to,

I really do,

But at the end I'll always stay me,

That crazy girl,

With crimson tears to spill.


	39. So sorry

**So sorry, **

I hurt you more than I can imagine,  
Every time I did it I saw the pain in you're eye's,  
Eye's that use to smile,  
Now only filled with emptiness,  
You think I don't see you're pain,  
But I do,  
And it hurts me even more,  
To know it's because of me,  
Because I can't,  
Can't stop,  
Even when I try so hard,  
I stay this way because I hurt you,  
I want to hurt myself because you feel so much pain,  
Pain is what I have left,  
Since you've left,  
I can't blame you,  
Because I didn't stop,  
Didn't stop hurting myself,  
In this way.


	40. Losing my religion

**Losing my religion,**

Once a wise old man said,  
Love, freedom and religion is all that matters in life,  
I'd hade to agree,

_Love,  
_What is a person worth,_  
_If no-one cares enough to love you,_  
_Cries for you when you're hurt,_  
_And give up everything for you,

_Libertine_,  
Freedom is what you need to grow,  
To find out how you are,  
And what is good and bad,  
Wrong and right,

_Religion   
_Have faith in people,_  
_Believe in god,_  
_Trust you're life will be good,

I had it all,  
I had my freedom to travel my country,  
And play my songs,  
I had my religion,  
A god that would look after me,  
I had a love,  
That loved me more than everyone,

But everything is taken from me,  
My love is killed,  
My religion lost my faith,  
My freedom gets hunted,

What will that wise old man say now,  
When I tell him I've betrayed,  
By everything I believed in.

**Very good, thought El. Sometimes he can thing very smart things and say it beautiful.**

**Sue-AnneSparrow**


	41. Don't

**Don't.**

You say you love me,

But you don't even no me,

You never saw me,

The real me,

All you saw was a innocent girl,

But I'm dark baby,

I'm poised by hate,

And raised with pain,

All you wanted was me to love you back,

But I can't,

Because I don't even love me.


	42. Contrast opponent,

**Contrast opponent, **

So much alike,

But different as day and night,

He believes there are good people,

He believes only in himself,

He's a hero,

A legend, as in 'The',

A myth guarding his country,

With passion,

He's a rat,

A liar, and a thief,

A traitor to this country,

With desire,

So much alike,

Same ability to kill,

Both in there own way,

He kills because of his lost love,

Shoots from a distends in a fire fight,

Because his heart is lost,

He kills because of his way to keep the balance,

Let someone other kill, stabs in the back,

Because he doesn't have a heart,

So much alike,

Both a equal to the other,

Both strong, fighting for there goals,

And both stopped believing,

He stopped believing in God,

Still hates himself for that,

He lost his faith the day he lost his love,

He never believed,

Not in God, not in others,

Only believing in power and money,

So much alike,

Both so different as warm and cold,

On lives in the sun,

The other banished to the night,

But both walking there beat,

In there own way.

**For the people who don't get it: It's about El/Sands, dhu… Couple of day's ago I starting to think about it. They look so much the same, but are both so different. Deep thought, vague poem. **

**Review ore die,**

**Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow**


	43. Feeling emptiness

**Sands turns out to be a legend, but not in the way he would want that…: **

**Feeling emptiness, **

Coldness in the flesh,

Bleeding for eternal fire,

Murdering a thousand lives,

What is he?

Where did he came from?

No body knows, but him,

His blinded by rages,

Hatred burning him up,

Killing his way throw his life,

Does he ever stop?

Doesn't he feel regret?

Did he ever care?

No body knows, but him,

There are a thousand tales,

Of the man behind the mask,

Behind the dark glasses,

Reflecting you're last breath,

When he pulls the trigger,

Will he laugh as he kills you?

Will he scream ore just smile?

He only knows, being blinded by rages,

For his lover,

For her crime,

For his downfall,

What no-one knows is when he walks away,

He cries crimson red tears,

To filter the hollow lies,

Hoping some day his conscience will return,

So the emptiness inside,

Will be filled,

Not with rage,

Not with hate,

But with grief,

So he can care again.

**I don't know how that guy does it, but I keep loving him. Why do I ask myself, he killed half of Mexico, turn people against each other and is only interested in power.  
After seeing OUATIM for the, let's say 20 time I understood again why I'm crasy about him. He's damn hot, got a very twisted sense of humour I totally adore, and very tragic way of losing his life. That makes him a perfect anti-hero and my favourite character to play with. **

**So, what's you're excuse!**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	44. Wished I could stay dreaming,

**Wished I could stay dreaming, **

From a world I don't belong,  
I got send into here,  
A world of love and conception,  
There is joy in the air,  
Something I never expected to be,  
Came true,

For the first time in my live,  
I looked passed that dirty window,  
I was alive,  
As I opened my eye's for the first time,

I wasn't on a endless dark road anymore,  
I was free and could look be one the endless sky,  
The thinks I have done,  
Don't matter anymore,  
It's all forgiven,  
Even the deaths I have caused,

I wished I could be here forever,  
Not to care,  
Not to cry,  
Not to scream,  
Anymore,

I preyed they could leave me here forever,  
So I didn't have to think of what I have done,  
So I can be a good person,  
So I could live again,  
And be real,

Then the sky broke open,  
Darkness invaded my new found world,  
The beauty disappeared,  
The sky turned into ashes,  
And my world became darkness again,

Reality hit me,  
I was back,  
In the dark.

**Why can't I never make a poem about cute lill' bunnies or anything happy? Guess it's because there isn't any fun about that kind of poems. It needs to be dark, angst and deep. It doesn't need a rezone, it just haze to fit. **

**Info: Sands in the Centre finally having a nice dream, until he wakes up again.**

**Anyway, thanks for spending you're time on my stuff,**

**Luvzzzzz sue-AnneSparrow. **


	45. Marking silent,

**This is my first poem, where I don't know exactly where it's about. Still I like it pretty much. **

**Marking silent, **

Silent as the graver,  
Secrets al to keep,  
Emptiness to face,  
Playing hide and seek,  
There afraid to answer,  
Whispering and fearing,  
All to weak to repeat,

You feel tricked,  
Mislead by you're loved ones,  
But guided by the rage,  
You find some goal new,  
Still old demons to face,

When you're story continues,  
You become the keeper of silent,  
Making al the whispers stop,  
Also the cry,  
The screams,  
And the lies behind it all,

When you dream it will be all that's real,  
You don't deserve anymore,  
Fake is real,  
And reality is broken,  
Darkness is within,

Mouth is shut,  
Lips are sealed,  
Marking you're way throw life,  
And you're past revealed,  
Blaming the whispers,  
Broken on the inside,

Glory is gone,  
Passed by the wind,  
Stars shine down on you're face,  
But you're to blind to see,  
Are you still alive?  
At leased feared enough to be,

Keeping real,  
Is all what matters now,  
Stay breathing,  
And mark you're path,  
Is all what matters,

In the end.

**So, I have a question for you. Where do you think where it's about?**

**Luvzzz Sue-AnneSparrow. **


	46. Unanswered questions

**I saw a report of 9-11. Saw people hurt, dead children, crying man and women. And what's the use of it all? Why did we all start war and why isn't it over yet? I don't get it, I really don't get it. **

**Unanswered questions, **

What is war?  
That's a question with to many answers,  
It's a time nobody care about another,  
People kill,  
People hurt,

There seems no way back,  
Cities full of cries,  
Even more questions,  
Where is my child?  
Where is my brother?  
Where is my wife?

Good man kill in the name of another,  
Do whatever there told to do,  
Brains shut down,  
Eye's closed for the secrets,  
Nobody knows,  
Ore want to know,

Suffering seemed everywhere,  
Were ever you look,  
Ore listen,  
Screams are made like a new day,  
Children losing there youth,  
And get grown up to soon,

Still so many questions to answer,  
Who started?  
Who will die?  
And the most important one,  
Why?

**Another poem, hopefully it makes people think about it, **

Luvzzzz Sue-AnneSparrow.


End file.
